Let Love Explode
For most of my life, I’ve prided myself on my ability to shut emotions off. I always put limits on what I was allowed to feel or express. It wasn’t until this past year that I realized that wasn’t doing anything good for me or the world. So, about seven months ago, my prayer to God became a prayer for him to teach me to love like He does: without holding back.
In these past seven months, my heart has been broken for so many things. In the past seven months, I was able to travel a lot, be home a lot, spend time with new people, spend time with old friends and family, and I got engaged. It’s been a crazy ride. But no matter where I was or who I was with, God showed me that I can love so much more than I thought was possible. It was both wonderful and terrible at the same time. I think most of the time, when people think of love, they think of this bright shiny thing full of happiness. And it is. But there’s more to it. I found out that loving people is hard. It hurts sometimes. For me, it seemed like each time something new was put on my heart, I had to turn around and leave it, not sure if I’d ever see it again. But to my surprise, I also realized that the hurt was worth it.
I know now that God’s heart feels pain too. I know that God aches every time we become distant from him. Loving like he does means allowing yourself to feel the bad parts too. It means that when something terrible happens, it’s okay to cry, get angry, or mourn for a while. It also means occasionally shedding some tears of joy. Having God’s heart does not involve numbing yourself to these things.
My heart aches for all these places I’ve been and the people I’ve met. I feel like I’ve left parts of my heart all over the world. And for a long time, that feeling scared me. I felt like my heart was broken and scattered all over the world, meaning that I’d never have a whole heart again. Once again, I had put a limit on how much I thought I could love. I believed the lie that giving my heart to others meant that I wouldn’t be able to love as much in the future.
But God has taught me that there is no limit to how much I can love. He’s taught me that giving away my heart has just created more spaces for God’s love to fill me up. We love because He first loved us. And so I’ll continue loving because I know God’s love is limitless.
Christmas BASIC at Naz (NOTE TIME & LOCATION CHANGE!) Thursday, December 11
Christmas in Walnut Saturday, December 13