You're Not Alone, My Love
You’re not alone, My love. (click to listen & read)
I had no idea of what I wanted this blog post to be about and then I found myself in the second stall of the first floor bathroom in the CAC at UNI, where I saw these words written on the wall. You’re not alone, My love. I guarantee you that the writer of those words was not expecting me to take some big meaning out of it, but in typical Jazmine fashion, I took it and ran (not literally we all know I don’t run).
Those words are the words I crave to hear, I have always had a crippling fear of being alone. There have been parts of my story that before this year I felt were so ugly, ugly in a way that made me unlovable. Unlovable enough for people to run for the hills, and then I would be alone. So I hid in my controlled box, I would say what I thought others wanted to hear, just so they would stay. I hid parts of myself that I thought were “too much” because I wanted them to stay. I was a surface version of myself because I couldn’t bear the idea of feeling more alone than I already did.
Something that has taken me close to 22 years of life to realize is that I have never been alone nor will I EVER be alone. My Father in Heaven who knows me by name (I bet He even spells it right too) and calls me His Beloved has always been holding on to me, ALWAYS including every dark corner & every anxiety attack that found me my first semester at UNI. He is also there in every joy filled moment-- especially as I held on to a friend from class as she felt God for the first time. My Heavenly Father has been holding on to me and will never let me go.
I finally gave God my control of hiding and running and where my life was going and who I was going to become. This happened when a speaker at BASIC asked broken-people to stand. I knew this was me and ironically the moment I thought I was going to feel most alone I felt most loved. That was a terrifying moment (standing up & being myself), that meant being Jazmine on full volume, and that can be a little much for some people. The girl who loves to love people, who is extremely loud at inappropriate times, grumpy on occasion, extremely awkward on the regular, brave, vulnerable, and every single mood in between. I was scared to be me, but I was too tired of faking it to give any more glossy words, or actions. If people wanted to leave they could.
In giving up control, I not only gained this extremely precious relationship with God, but through that process He has given me so many beautiful humans that have been holding on to me too. They have been holding on to the real Jazmine, the one on loud volume going full speed, and they are still holding on. I can’t put into words, how unbelievably happy that makes my heart.
“There is no shadow You won’t light up and no Mountain You won’t climb up coming after me.”
I will always be thankful He came chasing after me, even in my darkest corner. You're not alone, My love.
UNI Junior, Social Work Major, and The Greatest Showman enthusiast
- BACK AT LANG // Thursday, April 5 at 8pm // Lang Hall // We are back in Lang to kick off our LAST SERIES of the semester. (I’m not crying. Are you crying?) Tate Offenburger will share about “I AM KNOWN” from the book of Ephesians. Taylor Lemon will be also be sharing her story!!
- SEND NORTH MISSIONARIES // Jim and Marissa Stamberg serve with SEND North and will be sharing about opportunity to join in their mission at BASIC on Thursday. SEND North (Alaska/Canada) has over 70 missionaries in Alaska and Northern Canada who are seeking to "Make Northern Disciple Makers" among the unreached people of the North. Several SEND North missionaries work full time as teachers or medical workers in order to provide a platform for living in these remote villages. We also have short term ministry options (such as summer Bible camps). Click graphic below for more details!
- INTERNATIONAL CONNECTIONS TEAM // This team of people who are all excited about cross cultural relationships. We spend time together every other week praying and encouraging each other in the ways that we can better reach out to our friends from all over the world. We also host events for the international community which include international food and Gospel relationships . If you want to reach out to people from other cultures or just be encouraged to speak the Gospel truth everyday, send us an email at email@example.com or lovstad
- FREE SUNDAY LUNCH // Sunday, April 8 at 11:45am // Bethel Hall (Door 7) at Nazareth Lutheran Church // Pulled pork BBQ sandwiches, baked beans, scotcheroos, chips, and fruit!! Whether you attend Orchard, Naz, another church, or no church … ALL ARE WELCOME.
- BASIC IN WAVERLY // Sunday, April 8 at 8pm // St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 717 W Bremer Ave, Waverly // Come ready for a fun night of worship and community. Mitch Black will be sharing his story and Brian Steenhoek will be teaching on prayer from John 17. Invite your friends!
- THRIFT STORE PROM // AfterBASIC NEXT Thursday, April 12 // Gym (Door 6) at Nazareth // Ridiculous dancing, outfits, and raffles. You won’t want to miss this.
- NAZ WORSHIP NIGHT // Saturday, April 14 at 7pm // Bethel Hall (Door 7) at Nazareth // An hour of musical worship to come just sit and rest -- kind of like a mini Sanctuary Night!!
- WAVERLY FINALS STUDY NIGHT // Tuesday, April 16 from 6pm - Midnight // Waverly Campus Office Space, 211 W. Bremer // Get off campus to a new study environment! Free coffee, pop, food, TV, wifi, and couches!! BRING A PAL.
- HE > ME TSHIRTS // $15 -- Order online by clicking graphic below!
(Click on any of the graphics for more information!!)